Thursday, February 21, 2008

Beating Up Trees

Sometimes it's hard to not resent certain people in this situation. As much as I love and adore my hubby, I have moments of resentment. I resent having to deal with his ex and his parents. I resent that all of our money is having to go to an attorney to fight just to keep our family together. I know it's not really his fault... but.. it's hard to not blame him at times. That's my dirty little secret. I could never tell him that.. I love him too much to tell him that... but there are moments where it takes everything in me to NOT tell him that I hate him and I wish he would just take it all away. I know that he'd make it all go away if he could. It's hard. It's hard on everyone.

Overcoming those feelings are vital. I'm not sure that keeping them inside is really the best thing for my own feelings... but it saves my marriage at times. One thing I was taught when I was in high school to take out my anger and frustration in other ways... and my personal favorite was beating up trees. Yes, it sounds rediculous.. but there is something SO theraputic about taking a big strong stick and just beating the crap out of a tree. It's really too bad that we only have one tree in our yard... that poor tree. At least if there was more than one they could share the brunt of my frustration.. but instead the one sad tree in our backyard gets to taste my wrath.

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