Monday, January 12, 2009
My little rant
most everyone that knows Alan is not my bio also knows that I want to adopt him. Most people know the whole ugly story and the way I feel about Alan. I'm his mom, his legal guardian, and his primary care giver. He is no different to me than my bios. So why is it that people love to throw out there "What if you can Hubby get divorced?" I especially love that question from people with kids... some even with kids that they themselves adopted. I'm not expecting to divorce... DH and I have talked about how we feel about the idea of it.. it's a VERY last resort for both of us BUT i also am a realist and know that there is a danger of that in every marriage no matter what the intentions. However, what I DO NOT understand is what that has to do with my son... or me loving my son? Do most people that divorce stop wanting to/having to be a parent? Do I stop being his mom b/c I divorced his dad? WHAT does that have to do with me continuing to be a mother to him? First, if I DO get to formally adopt him, he would be treated like any other kid in this family in the event of a divorce. Even if I don't adopt him, I am his legal guardian (even before I get the letter I'm considered his guardian b/c its in the custody papers).. and even if I didn't have that, I've been his mom since he can remember. I've been the one taking care of him, loving him, teaching him, disciplining him, feeding him, taking him to the dr. I know him better than anyone else in the world. I've been his mom for 5 years this year. What kind of shitty ass person would do all that for a child and then just walk away and not try anymore just b/c they are not with the other parent anymore? Isn't that what I get so mad at theEx about? And he IS her bio! Well, what if Hubby tries to keep him from me? I'd fight like HELL to see him... I'd want custody of him just like I would the other 2. I have 3 kids, not two.. no matter what a freaking blood test would say. A MOTHER is more than just an incubator with an exit... a MOTHER is the person that loves a child and cares for them. I AM his mother. I don't care who has a problem with that. I swear I'm going to smack the next person that looks me in the eye and asks "Well what if you and DH get a divorce?"