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So... after the agreement was signed last August that I would have legal guardianship granted, I finally got the guardianship letter about 2 months ago. Hmmm. Almost a year. Don't even get me started on that, though. Anyways.. it's here, I'm happy, and my son is happy.

Since then we have had some ups and down. My Alan has be diagnosed as ADHD in the past and is now considered Autism Spectrum (high functioning) so we have a whole new dynamic added to our issues and a new direction with his care. It's all fine though.. no matter what label we put on him, he's our beautiful son and I love him with everything in me. What I don't understand is some goings on with the ex...

in the past few months, calls have gone to once a month. Like clockwork she calls the first Sunday of EVERY month. That's it. She's given a minimum of 3 calls a week as far as the court order, but she chooses to not use them. Unfortunately this is good and bad. Good in that she's not calling constantly... well, good for me.. maybe not for Alan. Bad in that.. she's not calling more and Alan is starting to notice. He is understanding more and more of what is going on and who people are, but he's quick to tell people that I'm his mommy and he has the best mommy ever. Can't beat that!

Alan and I went out.. just me and him.. a few days ago. While walking I decided I wanted to explain a little bit about my feelings for him. I don't want him to ever think I think of him as my stepkid and though he doesn't even know that word yet, better for him to know my feelings now before he finds out. So, I told him that he was very special. I told him that most parents don't get to pick their kids. I told him that Bailey and Michael were born to me.. I didn't get to choose them per se... I was given them and they are who they are and I love them very much, but with him it was different. I got to decide if I wanted to be his parent. I got to meet him and play with him and love him before I was ever Mommy to him. I told him that made him a little extra special because he was chosen and because I wanted him SO much. And it's the absolute truth. Ask my hubby. He'll tell you. I only went out with him b/c he had a cute kid.. LOL!!!