It's hard being a stepmom. Don't ever think it is or should be otherwise. But, nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Life is complicated, so why should step-life be any different?
It would be much easier to not care.. but as a custodial, stay at home stepmom it's really not a good option. For some families it would work fine if the stepmom detached, but not in ours. It simply wouldn't work. I came into this knowing my role would be mom... but it's way more complicated than I could have ever possibly imagined. It's way more heartache, way more time, way more energy than I could have ever imagined... but it's also more rewarding right there along with frustrating. Some days I would MUCH rather say "F*ck this" and walk away.. those are the days I know I need a biiiiig glass of wine.. lol. Ah, we all have bad days. Hell, I have bad days with my biological children, so why would steps be any different? I guess it's just a little different, though. I love my stepson unconditionally and like my own child, but there is that little difference that I sometimes refuse to acknowledge b/c it is painful and hard. It's reality, though. There have been those shameful moments where I've wanted to take the other two kids and run screaming away from my hubby, stepkids, and their biological mother and then I think about how awful it would be to live without Hubby and Alan. They bring so much to my life. I love them with everything that is in me. We really do have a great family and are in a great situation. We have the best possible situation for all of us here as a family.. all of us here together. No matter how hard it is, it's worth it and it works. It works if you work it... it's worth it. Hey, isn't that something AA says?